Emotional Bank Account- Gottmen's Love Lab

Today, I’m going to discuss an Emotional Bank Account, that is from Gottmen’s Love Lab. Gottmen came up with a “magic ratio” for couples. The ratio is 5:1. This means five positive behaviors to one negative behavior. Positive behaviors could range from hugging, to putting gas in your partner’s car. These positive behaviors show interest, affection, shows the partner you care, and shows concern. Negative behaviors are disappointments in the relationship. A more negative ratio is 0.8:1. This ratio consists of positive to negative behaviors in unstable marriages. In the beginning of my previous relationship we started out with the “magic ratio.” There were a lot of positive behaviors. These consisted of making dinner together, going on double dates, spending time together, sharing secrets, and giving each other compliments. The one negative behavior would be that my partner would workout a lot, and it would ruin some of our plans. However, we worked around it. It was about four years into the relationship and the magic ratio went down to the more negative ratio. There were more negative behaviors than positive ones. We started hanging out less, because he didn’t have time for me. Football, basketball, and working out was his top priorities in life, which left me hanging. As for the positive behaviors, there wasn’t many compliments anymore, the secrets were told to other friends and not each other, and the double dates came to an end. There were multiple problems in the relationship, but I was just trying to show how a relationship can go from the “magic ratio,” to the more negative ratio if the relationship isn’t worked on. A lot goes into a relationship, and in my opinion, communication should have been better focused on.