Blog Audit: Expansion 2

Blog Audit: Expansion 2

In this blog, I’m going to go more into detail on the risks and benefits of hooking up. In today’s society, especially in the college world its acceptable for people to hookup. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I have hooked up in the past, and I would like to go into some detail of the effects it had on me and in previous relationships. For starters, some of the benefits of hookups would be having no strings attached. This could be fun and exciting for some people. Some people may even experience the feeling of being wanted and desired, or even feeling sexually gratified. I can personally speak on having it be fun and exciting. Since I was in a five-year relationship in the past, it was something new. It felt like a “new me” in a way. At times, I would feel courageous because it was something I have never done in the past. Another benefit would be that the hookup could help you get over your previous relationship. I can speak on this as a personal example. It was very hard to get over my ex-boyfriend on my own. As soon as I started to put myself out there more, and talk to more people it became easier. Eventually, this led to having sexual relations with another guy, and that really helped me move on. It was part of the “closure” that I needed from my ex-boyfriend. However, in this blog I’m going to focus on the risks of hooking up. Not only is it possible to contract an STD, but it can mentally and emotionally drain you. I have a good personal example to go off of this. My first hookup was with someone who was considered a “fuck boy,” excuse the language. In today’s society, a “fuck boy,” is a guy who gets around and sleeps with and messes with a bunch of women. I knew this going into hooking up with him. His friends, along with my friends, have told me over and over not to get involved with him. I went into it thinking I wouldn’t catch feelings, and that it would help me move on from my ex-boyfriend. Well, it turns out that I fell for him, hard. He said all the right things, and really made me feel wanted. He was fun to hang out with and he was funny. I really started to like him. We both considered ourselves as having a “thing,” together. I even got to meet his family, so I thought it was getting sort of serious. However, one night I walked into his house and he was sleeping with another girl. The next morning he tried texting me like everything was fine and I went off on him. I was devastated. I’m still not sure who I was more mad at; him for hurting me, or me for allowing myself to get hurt. After that, my guard went all the way up. I gave myself a while before I started talking to other guys. When I finally did, I started talking to the previous guy’s friends. I knew this was a bad idea, so my guard was still up. People were telling me how he’s exactly like the last guy, and that he’s a “fuck boy” too. I confronted him about it and he denied it. Again, he said all the right things and then some. We started to hang out more and more. We talked about meeting each other’s families, and talking about goals we had in life. We had meaningful conversations, and at times I really felt like he cared about. One night, we went out together. We both had a few drinks and a little bit later I looked over and he was making out with another girl. I was furious; more towards myself for allowing this to happen AGAIN. We ended up not talking, and ever since then I look at hooking up completely different now. Every time I even think of the word, I think about a broken heart. I get my hopes up, and then the same mistake happens over and over again. This blog is meant to show was emotionally and mentally attached you can get to someone, even if its just a hookup. I should have took into account all the warning signs, and listened to my friends. I should have looked at my previous mistake and not allowed it to happen twice in a row. This is all a learning experience for me, and I’m learning what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship. This HDFS 115 course has also taught me things to look for and what not to look for in relationships. It taught me what a “Healthy Couple Relationship” is, and I’m striving for that someday.