Intimcy Posions: Infidelity and My Personal Example

Previously I made a post on intimacy poisons. I’m going to talk about one more that ruined my relationship. Infidelity is the betrayal of relationship expectations. This can vary from relationship to relationship. It can be something ‘small’ to texting/flirting with someone else, hanging out, or something ‘large’ to intercourse or having relations. Notice how I italicized ‘small’ and ‘larger’ because they could be different things to different couples.

I’m my previous relationship of 5 years, there was infidelity. It was more sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity. Both my previous partner and I have done things that would not agree with our relationship, so we are both at blame. There would be times where my partner wouldn’t have enough time for me or wouldn’t give me enough attention, and I would start messaging other guys. At first as friends, but as the conversation grow, there were flirting texts involved. My partner rebelled on this and did ‘yoga’ in another girl’s single room dorm without telling me. Infidelity happened back and forth in this relationship, and it was unfair to both of us.

There are statistics saying that 66-77% of Americans state that infidelity is always wrong, but 40% men and 25% of women conduct in it anyways. I agree with this statistic because I think it’s absolutely wrong, but I was involved with it anyways. It doesn’t make sense to me, but it happened.

Some of the factors that could lead to infidelity is the quality of the relationship, boredom and lack of emotional support, the love styles, and attachment styles. For our past relationship, I would have to say that boredom and lack of emotional support were the reasons infidelity happened. I would say in a way my partner was bored of me, and I would say he didn’t give me enough attention and emotional support. The quality of the relationship also plays a huge role because of the revenge affair, which my ex was involved with (yoga).

I think the type of infidelity that we both were involved with would be “philandering.” This could be anything from causal meet ups, being active on Tinder, or a sex addiction. For our relationship, I think it was causal meetups, or causal texting. When it was all said and done, we broke the relationship up because again, it wasn’t fair to be giving other people more attention that we were giving our relationship. Infidelity is another intimacy poison that ruined my relationship.